Mommy Hopers 

Precious Mother’s Day ladies. On this day as many ladies are showered in various ways (as we should be!) I wanted to take a moment to speak to the hearts of mommy-hopers, mommies of angels and mommies with little ones who brought with them a reality different from what we as parents anticipated. 
I too am a mommy of and angel, a former mommy-hoper, and a ‘this isn’t what I signed up for’ mommy. 
On this day I have been the one in a puddle of tears and barely the strength to receive the hugs I so desperately needed. My heart aches for our lil lady. In the years after the healing process started I was a mommy-hoper (autocorrect does not like when you make up words!! ‘Hoper’ is what I said and it’s what I meant!!). I hoped for the baby that would take those peaceful fun photos, the kid who loved being held but like their alone time too. When my oldest came along I didn’t have the moments I had hoped for. Of course we had some truly great moments. What you didn’t see was a momma so frazzled from the hours of high pitched screams and fighting against any comforts I offered. I had refused to seek treatment for postpartum depression. My spirit was so broken I could not hold the weight of something being wrong with me. I had to prove I could handle this. The truth was the Shame blanket I had on me was so thick already….
I suspect someone reading this feels the same weight. You are loved, by me, by God, by family. Let today start your healing for your heart and spirit. I love you mothers! No matter what stage you’re in. You are special and as loved as you could possibly imagine. 
On my worst days I needed desperately to be held. Take a moment to close your eyes grab a pillow or blanket turn off the noise around you and just take deep breaths. Breathe in His goodness and let it lift you to life again. Seek to feel His arms around you as you feel Him slowly stitch the pieces of your life back together and into His will. You are special! Muah!

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